To unpublished poets who are 97 years old or younger: It's not too late!
And while you're on your way to being a 97 year old unpublished poet, here's a new job you have a chance at! I mean, most of you have to be better than this.
Steph Bowe tells us it doesn't matter if you're 15 when you get your book deal (like she was) or if you're 19, both are totally cool. This made me cry at "If you reach legal age without a book on the shelves, guess what? It doesn't matter."
At Chuck Palahniuk readings, you have the chance to win a signed, inflatable plastic turkey. Just try not to pass out while blowing up the inflatable statue during the contest to get the inflatable turkey. Because that would be embarrassing and demeaning.
Magnet poetry. Did I just spend a half an hour creating semi-coherent sentences? Maybe. Or maybe it was an hour. Don't judge me.