Microsoft Word is so heteronormative that you have to add heteronormative to its dictionary.

Microsoft Word can read at a 12th grade level and punctuate at a 5th.

Sometimes you think you saved something on Microsoft Word, but then you can’t find it anywhere. Later, Microsoft Word will try to be cool about this, like hey, I hope everything is ok in your life, I AutoRecovered these other things for you that you don’t even want.

Microsoft Word is always DTP (down to process).

This copy of Microsoft Word is designed for corporate or institutional customers. All other customers will be reminded of this and their own inferior standing by way of Microsoft Word’s relentlessly blinking cursor.

One thing I like most about Microsoft Word is… Error Code: 0xC004F001.

Microsoft Word has been involved in a number of high profile and ultimately failed relationships over the years, including a brief fling with the Atari ST back in the mid ’80s.

If Microsoft Word could use a single word to describe itself, it would be Document1.

I’m writing about Microsoft Word with Microsoft Word right now, but Microsoft Word doesn’t know this.

Microsoft Word can CTRL+Y and CTRL+HOME, but it can’t really CTRL+U, can it?

When you work with a Microsoft Word document, you may experience one or more of the following symptoms: (excised, stamped over) At Microsoft our mission and values are to help people and businesses throughout the world realize their full potential.

During the Year of the Public Apology, more people used Microsoft Word’s Paste icon than its Cut icon for the first time since the release of those functions.

Most of my interactions with Microsoft Word start with (No Spelling Suggestions) or (Product Activation Failed).

One way to relate to Microsoft Word on a more visceral level is to realize that the acronym NYC in Wingdings was something possibly cryptic, possibly hateful, but upon further scrutiny, has been changed to some iteration of I Heart New York.

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