AWP 2011 Cover Challenge - Day 4

We spent a weekend away, but we're back with a bang for today's question. The answers are pretty lengthy today, and are funny enough to scare away even the most serious case of the Mondays. As always, the question involves the cover of the current issue, Issue 47, which can be viewed, both front and back, on Day 1's post!

Where are these kids' parents?

1. O'Hare Airport

2. in Tibet

3. Chicken shopping

4. Drying out in Biarritz.

5. Whichever side of the house it's Autumn

6. On Capitol Hill lobbying for more funding for education

7. Hiding in a closet, talking on the phone so no one will hear how much they hate snow days.

8. My God! We've got kids?!?

9. Liberating Egypt!

10. Being taught humanity by a pack of feral dogs.

11. Mom is a UPS worker, dad is a poet writing at home. They are in the UPS truck making love in the middle of the letters and parcels and the important errands of other beings.

12. Mom is an out of work egg gatherer at one of those big, windowless chicken factories. The reason she's out of work is because the free-range egg farm next door is taking their business away. She's not at home because she's in a poetry workshop. Dad is a jockey, riding in The Breeder's Cup.

13. Upstairs in bed making love and torturing each other. They won't be downstairs for another hour, when mom throws dad's laptop out the window (it's filled with gay porn). They come downstairs smiling, hand in hand, and play outside with the kids.

14. Juniper Diaz, indentured as she was by her husband to the navy, now resides in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, peeling potatoes and mopping decks on the USS Denial. Frank Diaz, the most infamous cock fighting ring master since Napoleon released 4,000 roosters on the Basques, now resides in Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary, devoting much of his time to inscribing poems about mules into his cell block walls.

Votes go in the comments, per usual, and remember to watch out for tomorrow's question. Our Cover Challenge continues this week, and you can always vote on a past question!